What Is Your Plan?

Hello my friends! I want to start right off by saying thank you! Thank you for bearing with me the last fews days. I know that one moment I post something on Facebook that is really fun, exciting, & positive....and then, the next post I am down, sad, or even upset. My emotions have been all over the place & I am not sure why. Well, maybe that isn't entirely true. I have had a few pretty significant things go down lately but I definitely have something going on inside of me that I am not sure I can pinpoint.

I have been really emotional about Kayleigh the last few days. I miss my little princess tremendously, but I don't sit around & cry every day, completely handicap by emotions. Yesterday, I was crying at my desk....remembering. It had been a while since those feelings were so extreme.

If I am being honest, I have also had a hard time with my prayer life the last few weeks. I mentioned before that my number one place to pray is in the shower. I can count on spending 30 minutes with the Lord without fail every time. Lately, I don't even know what to say. I even have talked to myself out loud in the shower to remind myself, or coach myself, to start talking to Him. I can't come up with anything. I am going through a "numb" period I think.

I am working through my feelings & thoughts about this so hopefully nothing is coming out wrong here. I love the Lord, I completely trust the Lord with my life & current situation, or at least I feel like I do. Maybe that is why I don't know what to say....because I KNOW He is in control. I don't ask Him to make things happen. Quite the opposite. I have actually said things like, "Lord, if you don't want me to do this, if this isn't what you want for me, don't let it work out."  That being said, I haven't been "on fire" like I have been before. I haven't posted much scripture in a while, I haven't been able to attend church in over a month because of work, & I haven't read my Bible. Wow. Nothing like throwing myself under the bus.

I feel like this may have changed in the last 24 hours. It certainly helps to be excited about the Lord & your faith when you spend time with people who are on fire for the Lord as well. That may have been where it started. Then, I was reading about Pastor Furtick's upcoming book, Sun Stand Still. I KNOW this book is going to make a major change in my life. I can't believe I have to wait until September 21st to get started.

So, I get into reading about other Pastor's that I admire & I came across Pete Wilson's book, "Plan B". Somebody in my blog community, FB page, or Twitter,  posted a comment today that said, "I have never been challenged like I have reading Plan B." So I went to Barnes & Noble & I picked it up.

Here is a short video that I think just might get you jazzed up too.

So, do you really want God or do you want what you think that God can give you? Man! That is a pretty powerful statement. I can tell that this book is going to give me a lot to think about. I think I am going to reveal some things about myself that will need to be changed. No, I know I will. I am absolutely scared to death & completely excited at the same time.

I haven't even opened the book yet & tonight I have thought about my future, my faith, my goals, my expectations, my wants, my needs, & everything else in between. I know that I want to be more active in sharing the Lord with others. I don't know to what extent that means but my fire has been re-lit. Is it a small group, posting here, going back to school, leadership training.....I don't know. I just know that right now in this moment my excitement to grow & challenge others is overflowing.

So look out! I am coming your way & I am not going to hold back. I don't know how to. It isn't in my nature. I am about ready to take my shower tonight & I know just what to pray for. Guidance. I am going to pray that the Lord will show me what He wants me to do with this fire. Where He wants me to go with it. I am going to pray that He opens the right doors for me & that He locks & closes the ones that I need to stay away from.

While I was sitting here typing this last paragraph I had an overwhelming feeling that I should pray for a few things that I haven't prayed for in months. I want to resist  because of my own feelings, wants, desires, anger, & pain. BUT, I can't seem to shake this feeling. My body has literally become heavy. I feel myself trying to run from it & I can't get away. I am going to have to trust in the Lord. I DO know that He knows what I NEED & what is right for my life. Even if I don't. I want to keep typing because I am someone who has to "explain" everything, but I can't come up with the words. I am confused myself so I don't expect anyone to understand what I am trying to say. I am taken back by this. Lord, please bring me some clarity.

Good night everyone.

Butterfly Kisses

I was planning on writing a post to cover the things that have happened over the past week. However, about an hour ago my plan changed. On my computer, to the right, I have a slideshow of photos....

I will find a photo that I like, & I will freeze it. I usually leave that photo there until my computer restarts on it's own. Well last night, my computer did just that. Today I had to choose a new photo. There are so many that I usually scroll through only 3-4 before I pick one. 

Here is what I ended up with....

As I sat at my desk, I couldn't help thinking about Kayleigh all morning. When I had a chance I opened up my Kayleigh 2.09 folder & browsed through all of the pictures. Adam was always so great about taking 100 photos per day so if I clicked though them fast....sometimes it looked like she was moving her head, waving at you, etc. It was really cool. I felt like she was here for a minute. 

With that being said, my last hour has been filled with joy & sadness. These photos are so special to our hearts. It is amazing to me & is quite a blessing that looking at a photo can take you back to that exact moment. That you can feel the love that you had right then. That you can feel her skin, her lips, her fingers, her heartbeat, & her love for you! Without her even being here. 

Here are just a few random photos that I have enjoyed over the past hour. Isn't she so beautiful?

I absolutely loved my Kayleigh kisses. I would just put my lips on her lips & she would press her lips together on mine. I bet I would do it 50 times in a row. What an amazing feeling. To feel that connection was something that I can't quite describe & I am tearing up even trying. Every moment was such a blessing. 

I miss you my sweet angel. Thank you for spending some time with mommy this morning. You must have known that I needed it. I love you so much. I'll be home soon. 

The Results Are In....

The three of us just finished with dinner. Let me think of what words I should choose....yummy, tasty, delicious, & fun! I have to admit that I tasted the mix before baking so I had an advantage over the kids. :)

Here is what I did.....

I had to cook up my chicken which I had actually planned to do last night. I pounded it out & cooked it in a frying pan with a tablespoon of olive oil & some chopped garlic. I then tried something that I have never done before that has me REALLY excited. I put the chicken in the food processor & poof....in 15 seconds I shredded 6 chicken breasts. YES! That saved me a ton of time.

I then sauteed my onions & my potatoes since I used raw ones. The recipe calls for two minutes but I love caramelized onions so I cooked mine until they were slightly brown.  I forgot that I wanted to get whole milk instead of using the skim milk that we drink so I did half skim & half, half & half.

I baked my bottom crust for 7-8 minutes before dumping in my filling. I then used a package of crescent rolls for my top crust because I LOVE crescent rolls & I thought it would be a much better flavor. I was right.  It turned out absolutely beautiful & lucky for me the kids loved it too. As you will see in the photo, my pie plate is in storage. I had to improvise & I used my oval baker instead. It worked like a charm.

When I asked Brandon & Allyson for their feedback for the blog, they both said that next time we should use green beans. They also requested that we do crescent rolls on the top & on the bottom. If this is going to be one of my cheat meals....I don't think I am going to argue with them about this. I asked them both if they would be excited if I said we were eating this again & they both yelled out, "Yes!" without even thinking. So, it looks like week one was a good choice.

Cost of making this recipe:

Pie Crust - $1.42

Crescents - $1.67

Butter - $0.20

Onion - $0.38

Chicken Broth - $1.04

Milk - $.50

Chicken - $2.22

Can Carrots - $0.67

Can Corn - $0.67

Potatoes - $0.68

Total = $9.45

Not bad for a family of 3 with leftovers for lunch! Plus, I went ahead & made up a 2nd Chicken Pot Pie for another night so I will save a trip to the grocery store, time & energy. Priceless! It took me a little longer to prepare than I would have preferred but since I have NO prep next time, I figured it is all worth it in the end. Another great thing about this recipe is that we usually have most of the ingredients on hand & we don't necessarily have to buy everything.

How did YOUR Chicken Pot Pie turn out? What did you do different? Would you make it again?

So, who has an idea for next week's Thursday night recipe? I need help!

Pot Pie Ready?

Hey everyone. I have to say that I am so excited about making this pot pie tonight. I was watching a few cooking shows last night that got me thinking about how else I can put my own twist on this recipe. I sure hope it comes out scrumptious or I am going to be really let down. In my head it is amazing!

I mentioned the other day that I have been eating like crazy & I just can't seem to stop. Well, today was my deadline. I had to go back on the "diet" today. Thursday nights are still going to be new recipe night, but I have to go back on the plan today. When I diet I like to have a cheat day each week. Since I prefer not to blow it out all on one day, I usually just do three meals throughout the week instead. I don't HAVE to do three meals, but I allow for it. This way I don't feel guilty if someone invites me to dinner or there are last minute plans. The goal is to eat better overall & develop a better eating plan for life. Not just a quick fix.

That being said, I ate my oatmeal this morning with blueberries & had my coffee. I have a spinach salad for lunch with mushrooms & homemade dressing so that I can control the calories/fat. I have chicken, a banana, & my new friend...Edamame.

Yes, I realize that edamame is not a new food, but it is new to me. I am one of those picky eaters that has never liked new things. Well, the other night I was feeling bold (that has been happening a lot lately) & since my friend ordered some at dinner I decided to give it a try. After all, it was served with sea salt & I LOVE salt. How bad could it be? All in all I would say it is pretty tasteless. LOL I can handle tasteless. I bought some at Walmart last night (they don't have it fresh & the produce MANAGER didn't even know what it was), so I had to look in the frozen section. I heated it up in the microwave & the kids loved it too. I felt like I was eating salt which is like a treat for me. Yum!

A serving is 1/2 cup which was VERY filling. If Brandon & Allyson wouldn't have helped me, I wouldn't have been able to finish. There are only 100 calories, 8 grams of protein, 3g of fat, & 4g of fiber. Very healthy. Plus, according to a friend of ours, women that are "middle aged" really need the benefits of soy products. Yes, he called us middle aged. It is okay though because we are never going to let him live it down. Picking on him about this comment was our pleasure for the evening. Poor guy.

It seems that over the last two weeks I have been doing a lot of emotional eating. Justifying why I should be allowed to eat whatever I want. Reasons like, I am sad, mad, bored, I deserve it, etc. However, I think my biggest problems lately with food has been at work. It is easy to snack all day if I am not quite as busy. So, I grabbed a couple of packs of my current favorite gum & hopefully that is going to help. Maybe I won't think about dumping food into my mouth if I am already chewing on some yummy gum!

I have always been one of those people that can't take time for themselves. Over the last few months I have gotten slightly better with this but I still have a ton of work to do. Instead of justifying the eating bad, I need to justify why I deserve to be healthier. In the past I have used the excuse that healthy food is too expensive, I don't have the time to prepare the meals in advance, I don't have time to exercise, it will take time away from the kids, etc. The list goes on & on. I am sure many of you have done the same thing. This is all a bunch of lies!

Eating healthy isn't really that much more expensive. We have to shop a little smarter but it is still certainly cheaper than eating in a restaurant or getting fast food. The kids really like helping me prepare my meals twice a week & it helps to get them excited about eating right too. A double whammy here. They also like exercising with me so taking a family walk on the loop or on the beach will include them & I don't have to take time away from them. So, I am pretty much running out of excuses.

I do need to do more than just walking a little & this is where I have struggled the most. Finding the time. Most days I have an hour between jobs & when I am not working....I don't want to be working out. LOL I have 100 other things that need to be done & I like to enjoy the kids every now & then. So, I have committed to starting out with a small home plan first. Going back & forth to a gym is not realistic right now because that will burn 30-40 minutes alone. Here is my question for those of you that have tried both of these programs, or know someone that has.... The 30 Day Shred or P90X? Does anyone have an extra copy of one or both of these that they do not need & can send to me? I would be happy to pay for the shipping.

After this past two weeks of eating horribly, I am ready to get started. Please pray that the Lord will help me make this an important part of my life & a focus for me. I am weak in this area & I can't do it alone. I have tried & I have failed miserably over & over again. One thing that I have never done until this morning, is seek the Lord's help. This is a time in my life that I can do anything that I want, take time for myself, be selfish, & enjoy ME. I need to embrace that & live it to the fullest. Again, I am getting better. I am a work in progress.

I will post again this evening after our very delicious Chicken Pot Pie dinner. I can hardly wait. Please leave a comment & let us all know if you are making this recipe tonight with us. :)

Our First Recipe Is....

Here is our first recipe. Pillsbury.com - Chicken Pot Pie. I probably got a little more into this than I should have but I was excited. I read a ton of reviews on probably 5 different recipes. My gut told me to go with this one. Plus, I LOVE anything Pillsbury. That being said, I have a few things that I am planning on changing/modifying when I make this. I am not going to post about my changes now because I want everyone to adjust this according to their own tastes & cooking know how.

I am planning on making this for dinner on Thursday night. I will use regular chicken breast that I will probably prepare on Wednesday night to make things easier. I am also going to double the recipe & put the mixture in a freezer safe Ziplock bag. So, next time I will only have to defrost & bake. I am all about working smarter, not harder.

INGREDIENTS

Crust

1 box Pillsbury® refrigerated pie crusts, softened as directed on box

Filling

1/3 cup butter or margarine

1/3 cup chopped onion

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1 3/4 cups Progresso® chicken broth (from 32-oz carton)

1/2 cup milk

2 1/2 cups shredded cooked chicken or turkey

2 cups Green Giant® Valley Fresh Steamers™ frozen mixed vegetables, thawed

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat oven to 425°F. Make pie crusts as directed on box for Two-Crust Pie using 9-inch glass pie pan.

2. In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion; cook 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until tender. Stir in flour, salt and pepper until well blended. Gradually stir in broth and milk, cooking and stirring until bubbly and thickened.

3. Stir in chicken and mixed vegetables. Remove from heat. Spoon chicken mixture into crust-lined pan. Top with second crust; seal edge and flute. Cut slits in several places in top crust.

4. Bake 30 to 40 minutes or until crust is golden brown. During last 15 to 20 minutes of baking, cover crust edge with strips of foil to prevent excessive browning. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Thank you Laura for sending this one in. If all of our families are disappointed....it is on you! Just kidding. I can't wait to try this out. It sounds absolutely yummy.

I am not planning on making any side dishes with this meal because everything that we need is already inside. So, get to the store, grab your ingredients, cook your chicken up, prepare your families, & get EXCITED!! Please let us know what you thought, if your family enjoyed it, any tips or modifications, & if you would make it again.

Enjoy!

The 4th of July Curse Has Been Broken

What a great, relaxing weekend. I hope that everyone had a wonderful time with their friends & families for the 4th. There will certainly not be a VLOG today as I look like a burn victim. (Thanks for that Sean) We went down to the beach on Saturday for about an hour & a half because I had to work Saturday night. I did not apply sunscreen but I never do so this was not a rare event. (Yes, I know that I should be doing this & now seems like a great time to start.) I came inside to eat & change & I could almost immediately feel my skin start to tighten. I went to work, had my fair share of compliments (yeah right) & then I came home to hang out with my awesome minis.

As I mentioned on Facebook they cleaned up the whole house. I did ask them to do this before I left but I didn't expect it to be done to the quality that it was. I was VERY impressed. For this, they were treated handsomely & they will enjoy a wonderful breakfast tomorrow of all of their favorites. I must say that I am quite excited about this too. Especially since for the last three days I am eating pretty much constantly. I can't explain it....I just can't stop. I gave a dear friend orders that if I can't control it by Wednesday morning that an intervention will be needed. I am not joking.

I decided to skip the beach today & just relaxed. I got some grocery shopping done, wrote my recipe post, let the kids play with friends, & then we all headed downtown for the fireworks.

What can I say about this evening? Plans were changed a 100 times, we thought we were going somewhere & then we were going somewhere else. We ended up downtown at probably the most amazing home I have ever been in. Being in real estate, that says a lot. It was the friend of a friend of a friend's home. (still following?) They welcomed us all with open arms, gave us food, wine, dessert, a tour, unbelievable hospitality, & the best view around. We were on the waterfront, just under the fireworks. It was a night to remember. Note to self....you never know who you are going to meet or run into so be prepared. Don't dress to sit on a downtown sidewalk. LOL

Thanks to my wonderful boss, I will be enjoying the day off tomorrow. At least until 5pm when I go to the 2nd job that I was not so lucky to get off of. I WILL be applying SPF 50 so that I can lay out on the beach without anyone & just be. That is probably the one thing that I REALLY enjoy doing alone. The beach calms me so much that I could just lay there for hours in my own head, thinking, relaxing, sleeping, etc. I just need to ask someone next to me to roll me over if they do not see signs of life for an extended amount of time. LOL

I have been thinking a lot about designing a button for the blog. I know that I need one but I am not the most creative person in the world & I don't have any fancy software. I know what I want it to include but that is about where my creative juices stop. A butterfly of course, three little people, & a cross. Hmm, now that I said that out loud I am not sure if that is even possible. So, I would like to ask for your help. Do you have any great ideas? Colors, layouts, etc.? I am open to anything & I am sure I will know the perfect one when I see it.

Looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for me this week. Have a great night!

My Very First....

Hello everyone. As mentioned on Facebook earlier today, instead of writing out a post this time, I did my first video blog. I was really anxious about it & I never even used my webcam until a week ago. (my computer is a year old) Let me know if you liked it & if you have any tips if I choose to do a second VLOG. For some of you, this will be your first time "seeing" me or hearing my voice so I am curious if I match up to what you were expecting. LOL

Recipe websites that I love.....

http://www.FoodNetwork.com

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/category/all-pw-recipes/

http://savorthethyme.blogspot.com/

http://www.5dollardinners.com/recipes/recipe-index

http://allrecipes.com/

I Love.....

Twilight: Eclipse! Gotcha didn't I?

I hate that I haven't written anything this week....but, it has been quite the week. Looking at the calendar, I can't believe that today is July 1st. Where has this year gone?

Last night the kids & I went to see Twilight: Eclipse. It was absolutely amazing. I want to go see it again. Since going to the movies is a small fortune we decided to stop at the Dollar Store for some yummy goodies. The kids were so thankful that we went as a family that they opted to use their own money for their candy. I really haven't seen them THIS appreciative in a long time & it made my heart feel so good. 

Team Edward or Team Jacob? Hmm...I like both for totally different reasons. I like Jacob strictly for looks. He is HOT!! Oh yeah, I said it. Thank goodness he is finally 18 so we don't have to feel dirty anymore. LOL. Allyson is certainly on Team Jacob. I didn't ask her why. I didn't have to. I think I already know. I am not sure who Brandon prefers but since he is a boy, I am not sure I care. :)

Now as far as Edward goes....I absolutely love his chemistry with Bella. I guess as a female it is easy for us to be attracted to him for that reason. We all want a burning chemistry with someone. When we find chemistry with someone we really like...it is hard to ignore. However, his looks (to me) are not as great. Maybe it is just the super white face. LOL I will say that he looked much better to me when he was in the tent & there was a shadow on his face, making him look "normal" colored. 

I can't believe that we have to wait until November of 2011 to see more. I haven't read Breaking Dawn but I think I am going to have to start right away. Patience is not my strong suit & I want to know what happens next. I was on the edge of my seat most of the time. I think I even started crying a little, but don't tell anyone. The movie was just so intense. With all this being said, I will be happy to take whoever Bella chooses to leave behind. :)

After the movie we came home & had a delicious frozen pizza. Earlier this week I had the pleasure of eating the 4 cheese version so I wanted to try out the pepperoni. There is something about the pepperoni & how it gets a little burned in my oven that causes sheer happiness. 

We finished out the evening watching TV curled up on the couch together & just enjoying each other's company. We stayed up late & the kids slept in a little later than I care to share. (I won't tell on you Ally)

I hope everyone is having a great day!